My latest blog is 06 DEc,,,,it was 21 days ago....and now 896 times that viewed me. Yaaaa,,,as always.
Yeaaahhhh,,,it's so DAMN amazing,,,finally Allah show me the truth, the real you, Dear. Hopefully you read my posting, this time is special dedicated for you. WHY ?
It's because you know whad Dear ? Finally Allah show me the truth who are the real you. I'm absolutely wrong. Maybe I knew U, but the fact is I never know you. But after all I know, It's poorly crazy, how I'm still forgiving and loving you that so bullshit and treat me unfair. Giluleeee beneran kali ini deh...
Gw udah ga bisa bedain lagi, mana yg hurt, mana yg pain, mana yg dissappointed, mana yg surprised, mana yg sedih. It looks like the same feeling.Bisa2nya ya, dulu...waktu kita masih in a relationship, Dear push gw utk ngaku-ngaku-ngaku bahwa gw pernah punya special relationship sama ex boss gw. Bisa2nya yaa, Dear maki2 gw via status whats app, FB, dan beranggapan seolah2 gw cewek paling brengsek, the best player, dan lain2nya. Padahal entah tindakan fatal apa yg sudah dan pernah gw perbuat. Bisa2nya Dear,,,Dear nggak berbalik memandang diri sendiri, sama apa yg Dear pernah dan mungkin SERING laku'in...Have Affair sama berbagai wanita. Bahkan pernah ada hubungan yg udah sangat "jauh"nya sampai hampir menggonjang ganjingkan rumah tangga Dear. Dan semua kenyataan itu terbungkus rapi sama tuduhan Dear ke gw. So amazing. Utk ke sekian kali, Dear memang hebat. Sampai akhirnya gw ketemu which one of them "your partner"...Bener kata Dear "Dunia sempit loh, kalo bo'ong ntar pasti ketauan loh",,,hahahahha,,,ternyata siapa yg ketauan ya ? DON'T EVER CHALLENGE ME...Karena gw memang ga pernah bo'ong, dan silahkan cari sampe ke ujung dunia, fact that show me that I'm a good player LIKE YOU. Ga akan ada bukti, karena memang gw ga pernah berbuat kelam, selain sama Dear.
Pantesan, terkadang terlintas di pikiran gw...kenapa sih waktu kita masih in a relationship, Dear segitu feeling guilty'y, feeling emphaty karena pernah dikhianati,,, ternyata gw salah tafsir ya, bukan feeling guilty rupanya, tapi karena trauma takut ketauan ke sekian kali. SO AMAZING...Rapih banget emang permainan buat yg udah experience.
But sorry, kali ini lo salah korban, Dear. I'm mature enough to forgive you, but Im not dumb enough to trust you again. Tapiiii, gw bukan elo. Ketika tau dan nge'gep'in kesalahan orang, malah cuap2 di status. Gw akan datang, gw akan confirm, gw akan tunjuk ke muka orang yg salah itu "apa aja tindakan mereka", gw akan forgive, gw akan leave. CASE CLOSED. Gw harap tindakan gw bisa menyadarkan supaya Dear ga ngulangin lagi tingkah laku ga terpuji kaya gitu.
So painful, let you go. But the most painful, let you go to the wrong way.
I love you, even we can't have each other, please do the right things. live the right way, and I'm happy for you. Do not make me regret ever loving you.
Just remember "Life is a journey , but love is a sincerely". Jangan pernah ketuker dalam memaknai kedua hal itu. Even I know you're bullshit, I love you, still. Don't make me, loved you, and hate you for the rest of my life.
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